CHARLENE'S STORY "I REMEMBER"

 

I Remember

 

I remember that night, September 8, 2013.

There was nothing different about that night, until it was time to go to bed.  I felt something nothing that I could put a finger on just a feeling.  An odd feeling, and a thought that something wasn’t just right.  An impending feeling of doom.  At around 11:00 pm after still having these feelings I decided to drive to Southern Maryland Hospital.

I remember.

I headed down Route 5, I have driven past this hospital so may times I can’t even count them.  Halfway there my mind is confused, have I gone to far, have I not gone far enough.  I take the next exit and pull over trying to get my thoughts together.  By this time I know what that odd feeling is, my heart is pounding, I am having pressure on my chest like someone is sitting on me.

I Remember.

I get my head together and continue back down Route 5 to finally see the entrance to the hospital.  I park my car and get out not knowing if I can make it across the parking lot and up to the emergency door.  There were a few people walking to their cars and I tried to get their attention so they could get me some help, but I don’t know if I was not talking loud enough or they didn’t want to get involved or they thought I was some nut.

I remember.

I see a red pole on the other side of the parking lot with a sign that says Help, if I can only make it to that sign maybe I can get some help.  I slowly make it to the pole and see it has a button on it to push to get help, so I push it and look at the ER waiting that is close but seems so far away.  As I look at the windows of the ER and see people turn and look at me when I push the button, I see no one moving to help me.  I push it again and finally see a hospital employee stand and head to the door.  What seemed like hours was probably seconds or a few minutes at best.  But it was an eternity for me.

I remember.

Finally he comes out with a wheelchair and as he gets closer to me I say “I am having a Heart attack” , he says okay at the time I am thinking he is just a little to nonchalant about it but now I am thinking he was just being calm which at this point I was not.  I am put on a stretcher and a doctor comes in checks my heart and gives me a nitro pill and says he will be back in a few minutes.  He comes back and asks how I am feeling and I say I am having a heart attack.  He then says no you are having an Angina attack here is another nitro pill and off he goes again.  He comes back a third time and asks how I am doing and I say I am having a heart attack he gives me another nitro pill.  Back he comes and asks again How I am doing and by this time I holler at him and say I am having a heart attack, he says no its Angina and now he is going to give me a pain killer.  I pass out.

I remember

The next day I wake up as they are getting me ready to transport me to Washington Hospital.  I am told I need a Double bypass, its not registering in my head.  I am confused and don’t know where I am.  I make it to Washington hospital and meet my nurse “Casey” she explains what happened and what they were going to do.

I remember.

Casey asked if there was someone I wanted to call and all I could think was who would want to receive a call like that.  Who in my family should I burden with that call.  At first I thought no one just have the surgery and call them after.  But then I thought oh if they did that to me I would kill them. So on 9/11 my older sister got that call an hour before I went into surgery.

I don’t remember.

I don’t remember the people who visited in the first few days after surgery, I don’t remember those first few days at all.  Although I am told that even with all the equipment and tubes down my throat I was able to give orders of what I was going or not going to do LOL.  Meds and loss of memory for a couple of days has a funny effect on a person.  My first memory is of sitting in a chair not being able to talk a tube down my throat and someone saying your family will be here soon and we will take the tube out.  To me it seemed like this person was saying that for days.

I remember.

Then my team of doctors come in to discuss what happened and where I am.  I was in ICU recovering from a quadruple bypass and was in A Fib and had an irregular heart beat and by the way did you know you were diabetic?  Well that reality finished my smoking cigarettes of 37 years thankfully (and I am still smoke free and don’t miss it).  Now I had things to decide changes to be made and diet was a major part.  I spent 2 weeks in ICU and another week on the heart floor where I was sent to a hour long course on nutrition.  Needless to say I got very little out of that class.  So I went back home to Maine to recuperate with my family using the guidelines I got in the hospital.  My blood sugars ranged 160 to 230 on good days.  When I finally made an appointment with a primary doctor (for 20 years I didn’t need doctors) we went through all the tests all the things I should have had tested my A1C came back as 7.0 and my doctor said well you have your blood sugar under control.  I told her that I don’t know how because of my ranges but she said continue what you are doing.  Well that wasn’t good enough for me I got a second chance at life and I was not going to mess it up.  So the research began the endless hours of surfing the internet to find out all I could.  Then one day I saw the face book T2 Diabetes support group and joined from that day a few weeks ago I have learned more than I could have expected.  I am very sensitive to carbs, white foods, fruits so I now do a Low Carb High Fat diet.  I still occasionally will spike to 160 but most of the time I am under 130.  I power walk 20 - 40 minutes a day I am still trying to improve my heart function.  But it is working, my friends will say you are doing great how do you do it?  For me its not a choice anymore it is a Lifestyle change, in the past I had choices and made the wrong ones. December 26^th, 2013 I had a defibrillator implanted as a Christmas present.   Now I chose to live so I will control Diabetes it will not control me! Fight and stay strong and find what works for you. 

Charlene is a member of the type 2 diabetes support group